urban bastardization of otherwise harmless words

Okay - seems that the treat "dilly bar" I referred to in a previous post no longer only refers to an ice cream treat. Incidentally an ice cream treat that is not available through the ice cream man (and this is the actual, original ice cream-only treat I refer to) but through Dairy Queen.

Sometimes you say something and someone giggles. You wonder why. This started when I began teaching courses at a local college. Even though I think I am not a day over 21, these kids that I was teaching apparently were still in Junior High School, masquarading as college students.

The assignment was to come up with a name for their group projects. I was trying to teach brainstorming and that no idea was a bad one as it could lead to more good ones. The project was a collection of many different subjects into one publication. One of the group members offered "Tossed Salad." Seems harmless and not too bad for a collection of different things thrown together.

Then there was the snickering. One older, non-traditional student informed me she would not be a part of such filth (although she couldn’t define the filth, but knew that the snickering boys were up to something). So I googled it. Lovely.

So that’s great that there's slang and urban terms for whatever floats your boat. But maybe when a very unhip, thirty-something klutz utters or writes something, perhaps it would be wise to assume they mean the original meaning. Just a suggestion.

If you ever want to know, here's a helpful reference. I looked up “steamy beef hand” and thankfully no one has stolen that one yet.

Steamy Beef Hand

You ever wonder where some band names come from. I think this could be a good one. It started as I prepared one of my fabulous dinners (okay – took the ingredients out of the ziploc freezer bag and followed the directions from Dinner by the Dozen) —beef and broccoli. As I was browning my hamburger in a large pot the steam was bouncing off my stirring hand. I walked into the other room where the dogs became very interested in that hand.

mmmmm, steamy beef hand, I said aloud.

And a new band name was born. Now where did I put my drumsticks...

ICE CREAM MAN!!!!

Wow - just barely past 55 degrees out there and the ice cream man is out... (on a Friday at 1pm - although I think it is Spring Break for the neigborhood kids). There's still a patch of snow in the yard but summer must be just around the corner...

Not sure about him - it's a cute truck but things aren't the same today as they were when I was a kid.

Really want a [edited] bomb pop now...

The Klutz's Guide to Neighborhood Watch

The other morning my neighbor from across the street rang the doorbell. It was about 10 am and since it wasn't yet noon, I was still in my pjs and a sweatshirt (one of the perks of working from home office). I opened the door expecting him to hand me a package as the UPS guy is always delivering my stuff to him across the street.

Al: Are you okay?
Me: I'm fine, how are you?
[Al looks a bit confused.]

Al: Well I thought I'd just check on you since you were banging on the window...
[Now I look confused... scanning back through my previous 10 minutes...]

I realize that I had been banging on the window trying to get the squirrel out of the bird feeder. The squirrel completely ignored me, didn't even flinch. Al, across the street, who I was completely unaware of standing by his mailbox , heard me. I explain this to Al, who chuckles and moves on with his day.

I'm pretty sure the neighbors already think I am nuts ... but nice that they're keeping an eye on me none the less!

Birthdays, life, death and random thoughts in between

"...The important thing is not to be bitter over life's disappointments. Learn to let go of the past. And recognize that everyday won't be sunny. And when you find yourself in the darkness of despair, remember ... it's only in the black of night you can see the stars. And those stars lead you back home. So don't be afraid to make mistakes, to stumble, fall. Because most of the time, the greatest rewards will come from doing the things that scare you the most. Maybe you'll get everything you wished for. Maybe you'll get more than you ever could have imagined. Who knows where life will take you. The road is long and in the end, the journey is the destination." - Coach Whitey Durham (Barry Corbin) in One Tree Hill

I quietly turned 36 the other day. I didn’t mean for it to be quiet – I’d much prefer fanfare and celebration. But it seems you pass “a certain age” and birthdays get lost in the rigamarole of everyday.

With the passing of each birthday, thoughts turn to life. Am I where I wanted to be at this age? Where is it that I wanted to be? What is the meaning of life? 42 ... well, in this case, 36. It seems around my birthday, I am more aware of the fact life changes so much. Just when you think you might be in a pattern or a rut, if you step back, you'll feel the wind on your face as the world spins around you.

My grandmother is 77 – a fact that she brings up a lot lately. Perhaps it is a way to justify the whirlwind of changes she has just made. She moved from her house of 20-plus years into a stylish new place. It’s not assisted living, or a retirement building. It’s actually a pretty coo loft. But it is about one-quarter the size of her house – much more manageable for a 77 year old, albeit a fairly healthy one. She also sold the family cabin, as you may have read in previous posts. She's made these changes sort of as a way of getting her affairs together. Not that she is going anywhere. But she is 77, she will remind you this if you mention anything.

As I was contemplating the “when” of having a child, not the if, I suddenly was gripped with a fear that I might not be around for grandchildren. Then I realized that it is foolish to think that way. You really can't plan for anything in life. It doesn't work out that way. I am definitely a planner. My husband is a fly-by-the-seat-of-the pants-er. He’s been calling me type A lately. He’s right. He’s a B. So we complement each other by sometimes meeting in between. So I end up putting in place the financials, the schedules, the what-ifs, and he provides the why-nots, the let’s-gos, and the better-now-than-laters. Sometimes we flip when I suggest we run off to Paris next weekend and he reminds me we have to pay taxes.

Back to life’s changes. My mother’s brother is in the late stages of prostate cancer. He is in Salem, Oregon. I haven’t seen him in 20 years but have kept in touch on and off by email. I’d like to visit him but am having trouble getting the where-with-all to do so. True the cheaper fares are two weeks out. But life is so busy. There's a loan closing, a book club meeting, work, class to teach, taxes to do, dogs to board. All that can be rescheduled and taken care of pretty easily. I’m afraid to book a trip and end up being too late, but at the same time, afraid not to give it a chance.

On the other end of the spectrum, my sister is bringing new life into the world – due in September. For most people this is a joyous event and something I hope to do myself in the near future. But my sister wears blinders. She really flies-by-the-seat-of-her-pants. She’s a good person but just not a planner like her older sister. Her son has just turned 15. He’s a good kid but medicated and has a host of disorders defined by letters. This is mostly genetic. My sister herself is bipolar.

Her choice to get pregnant was that it was finally time, and she was in a good financial place. But she chose not to notice that she is just barely financially stable and that she really can’t stand her husband, who has a host of things going on himself. In order to get pregnant, she went off the medication to treat her disease. Then through a series of unfortunate events, lost her job.

I will admit this has affected my choices to become pregnant. Since there’s so much going on there, it’s hard for me to do the same and be happy about it, or for the rest of the family to be happy about it. I’ve always been my sister’s keeper. As I love her dearly, at the same time I am tired. It’s also very hard on the rest of the family – three other sisters and our parents. My mom is a worrier and has the blood pressure to prove it. One other sister has been going through her own changes in life – most recently health issues. Thankfully it turned out not to be Leukemia, as was a possibility, but instead good old-fashioned mono. She mirrors her big sister in work hours – too many of them!

The last thing about my birthday is that each March brings a reminder of an old friend’s birthday – exactly two weeks before mine. His mother and mine were good friends before we were around. There are pictures of us as babies, toddlers and young kids. I moved to a different town in third grade and didn't see him as often after that. His mom still came to Bridge night but he typically stayed at home. When I was 17, he took his own life. I had a great deal of teen angst and often wondered if I could just give up. I could never have gone through it. In reality, I just needed a good vacation. I often wonder what happened for him to be at a point in his life to do this. There was speculation of many things: that a former teacher of his was accused of molesting students and he might have been involved. Or possibly he had received a lower grade than expected (I believe he had a 4.0 GPA and was already accepted to School of Mines as a high school junior). Or that he simply had a shortcircuit in his body chemestry. There were no other indications, no signs.

Several years later, his mother succumbed to cancer that slowly took over her whole body. She was a wonderful person. No one deserves to lose a child this way and then lose her own life to such a horrid disease, but she deserved it the least. I think of her daughter and her husband left behind. I don't think my mother is in touch anymore but I hope that their lives are really good to them now.

The quote at the beginning of this post struck a chord with all these thoughts swirling around in my head. It’s a WB show about teen angst but the script writer has it spot on. And it doesn’t hurt hearing it spoken in the deep Texas voice of one of my favorite actors.

Life is a journey. You might as well eat cheetos in the car, take lots of pictures along the way, and maybe have a birthday party or two at McDonalds.

It's March 18 - do you know where your snow shovel is?

It's that time of year and we're about due for a biggie. The setup is right - rain due to start this afternoon, turning to snow overnight. Okay mother nature - what's the plan?

Tuft-butt season

In many parts of the country, the Groundhog may signal the coming of Spring. Here, it’s big tufts of white and brown fur everywhere. Yup, it’s tuft-butt season when our brown dog/German Shepherd mix Sarah-dog blows her coat. She has gorgeous fur - a marble of red, brown, white, tan. The birds love it too, lining the nest with her brushing piles from the yard. The cats are not so fond of it —especially when I give them little dog hair wigs. Now there's a picture for "Stuff on my cat." BA HA HA HA! [Yes, they will smother me in my sleep...]

George Clooney and dreams

And now, on a lighter note... (I do have several blogs started but not finished - damn work ... damn taxes ... damn life).

I need to start writing down my dreams. This morning I dreamed I was watching a movie at someone's house and George Clooney slipped some drugs into my drink or food. It was speed but in the dream I was a slug. I decided I needed to walk it off and Jason Alexander was there. He was helping me and saying that was really uncool of George.

??!

I sometimes try to figure out where this comes from and if there is a message. In the past I have had dreams that are foretelling things to come. Years ago I dreamt my biological Dad had died but all I got was a phone call and wasn't able to find out where he was, only that I needed to come deal with it. In the real world, the next day he called me to tell me he was getting married (to a very nice woman and they've been married ten years). I also had a very vivid apocalyptic dream on Sept. 9, 2001.

Anyway, back to George Clooney, whom I sure is a very nice guy. The drugs are probably because I have new glasses and am getting used to them (prescription changed slightly, not to mention that they actually sit in the right place on my face, which I am not used to). They do make me a little dizzy. Mr. Clooney was on the Oscars the other night. Jason Alexander was in a movie I watched over the weekend. Still don't know what it all means but it's funny to see how the brain works.

This is how a heart breaks

Have you ever felt so incredibly sad - like someone punched you in the gut? You fight to breath normally. The skin around your eyes stings from salt in your tears. This is my Saturday -- a beautiful, warm sunny blue-sky Colorado day. The hubbie and I went to the cabin to clear out the things we left for future visits. I took some pictures to remember everything about the place.

And I cried. A lot.

I recall crying like this only a couple of times in my life. Once it was at my Grandpa's funeral. I feel like he has died again. My heart races, my breath squeezed out of me. I have to say goodbye to this place and it's so incredibly hard.

On my final way out the door, I grab a wooden sign with the family name on it. There's four of these - one inside, one hanging outside by the driveway, and two at the dirt road intersections leading up to the place. This is the one I can bear to remove. Taking one of the others down is too painful. I will save this sign for the day when we can get our own place like this.

The air is crisp. The sun warm on my wet cheeks. The stiff breeze musically wind through the pine trees.

This is how a heart breaks.

It's gone

There are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. I think I’ll save some time and hit them all at once.

The family cabin is gone. Grandma rushed ahead and put it up for sale, even after the hubbie and I offered to take it over. It was gone in a day for more than what she asked for and definitely more than what we could have afforded. She’s never seemed to me to be someone so concerned about money and certainly didn’t need to be.

We are upset that we weren’t part of the discussion. I know I am not alone in this. My parents weren’t even in on the decision. My dad’s name is on the trust. He had to sign papers for the sale against his choice. This was supposed to be for all of us.

I know I am an incredibly sentimental person. This was one of the last places where my grandpa was still around. My grandparents bought the place in 1993. He died from cancer in 1995. The time in between, he spent hours rebuilding the place, making it a year-round family retreat. My grandpa’s spirit is there.

Now it’s sold.

Maybe it was better I didn’t know this when we were there before Valentine’s Day. I would have just been sad and not enjoyed the serenity, the peacefulness. There are things we have to pick up that we left there for our future visits. I will probably run up this weekend just to get it done with. The longer I wait, the harder it will be.

Acceptance is the light at the end of the tunnel. But in the meantime, I have four tough steps to get through.

You say Turin, I say Torino

I had Olympic aspirations. I was the roller skate queen of Arapahoe drive. Decked out in torn knee jeans and giant fuzzy bell pom-poms, I faithly hit my blacktop driveway whenever it was clear of snow. I skated my heart out to Abba's "The Winner Takes It All" or Neil Diamond's "America". I got my inspiration from ice skaters. Hey, I can do that triple twirl, toe-picking sowcow (not likely spelled that way and having nothing to do with farm animals). I flung myself into the air believing I was achieving that exact step. Nevermind my toe pick was actually a bright red stopper and my blades were actually wheels.

I was going for the gold.

Unfortunately, roller skating never became an Olympic sport. Eventually the white roller skates wore out. The fluffy pompoms disappeared. Abba and Neil Diamond were replaced with New Wave. Time on the blacktop turned into time somewhere else.

As I tune into the 2006 Winter Olympics, I watch the ice skaters and know somewhere inside the roller queen skates on.

Wobbly bits

I think that phrase may have come from “Bridget Jones Diary.” It’s been wobbling around in my head lately. For almost a year, I've been obsessed with my wobbly bits – more so then the usual. In March 2006, I was diagnosed with high-blood pressure, pre-diabetes, and poly-cystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). I weighed in at my all time high of 235 pounds. I had joint pain and fatigue. I was winded walking across the campus where I teach. I don't know how it happened but gradually since college I had been moving less and eating not too bad, but not too good either. Coupled with the PCOS, which causes the weight gain, blood pressure, and blood sugar issues, I was losing the battle of the bulge.

Tired of feeling tired, I knew I needed to do something. I walked into a nearby commercial diet center and said, "what do I have to do to get started." The answer: a really, really strict diet, and a good chunk of money. In fact, it’s a paid version of an eating disorder. Okay, maybe that’s too harsh. But the program has a single sheet of paper listing what I can eat and when. No fruit after 6pm. Beef, cottage cheese and canned tuna can only be eaten every other day (a day between each item). I picked the program because it was advertised that is allows "real food." Yes, it does. But it's a very short list of real food. In addition, you buy "nutritional supplements" to fill in the gaps of the very short list. That’s where a lot of the program cost lies.

The program also doesn’t include exercise. It’s okay -- but they warn you it might slow your weight loss. (??!) This is true as muscle weighs more than fat. However, my goal wasn’t to just drop 90 pounds, it was also to be in better shape over all. So I also signed up with a personal trainer class at the rec center that is three blocks from my house.

At the time I started the diet program, I also started taking Metformin (a diabetes medicine) to treat the PCOS. The idea was to get to four pills a day, which was supposed to completely reverse the condition. My body really argued about the meds. I think much of my initial weight loss was more from the side effects of the meds, then the diet itself. I also went through Costco-sized bottles of pepto-bismol. I never could get past two pills in a day and finally ditched them mid-September. Some of the other treatments for the disease include diet and exercise. So I decided to stick to that route.

I lost about 50 lbs so far but hit that weight in October. Since then I have fluctuated a couple of pounds up and down but have really stayed in one place. This has been particularly frustrating. The diet center's answer is to take more of their pill supplements. Right now I take a multi-vitamin but draw the line at all the other stuff. I have similar reactions to supplements as I do to the Metformin.

One of the good things about this plan is that it is balanced. It doesn’t throw out entire food groups. I argue some are pretty limited but it has protein/starch/fruit/veggies. But I’ve also grown tired of the limited, bleak list of food and occasionally have added a few things in here and there. I know this has slowed down the weight loss but this is real life. I have learned about portions and calories. In fact, most of my “cheats” are things most people wouldn’t consider being a diet cheat. Carrots, for example, aren't allowed. Neither are bananas. Yes, these things will be "allowed" back when I hit the maintenance phase. But they have too much sugar for now. I also eat an occasional Hershey's kiss. Like I said, this is real life.

I’ve also recognized that stress plays a big part in your weight. A very busy life leads to food on the run and cooking what is easy. For me, that was refrigerated tortellini pasta. But I would eat the whole box myself with butter. Granted that was dinner after a day of maybe eggs and one other item. I wasn’t eating enough and what I was eating was storing itself and contributing to my insulin issues. It was comfort food - calming in the storm. I’ve learned that I can eat this stuff – but in balance and in portions. There's also other ways of calming stress.

Slowing down and eating away from the computer or TV has also helped. I have a hard time sitting and eating without doing something else. But watching a netflix blockbuster, I could eat a whole Chipotle burrito without noticing and then wonder why I felt like I was going to burst. Luckliy, I’ve discovered another obsession of mine (Sudoku) is something that slows me down. It works my brain and lets me eat slower. When you eat slower, you recognize when you are full. It also helps you enjoy the food more. Sometimes just a couple of bites of something you love can satisfy you just as much as eating the whole thing.

Cravings have been strange though. Last summer I craved Cheetos (the crunchy kind). This isn’t something I normally ate but I was obsessed with “cheatos”. If someone had a bag of them, I was a goner. Now I really crave one of those cheesy bites pizzas. They say cravings mean that you are missing something needed in your diet. I don’t think I am missing pepperoni but perhaps the calcium in the cheese. My diet doesn’t allow much dairy – 4 oz milk a day and 5 oz cottage cheese three times a week.

I work at home which has been both good and bad for the diet. It’s been good because I am not tempted by donuts/bagels/birthday cake and other goodies brought in by coworkers. I can make my meals fresh. The bad is that the kitchen is just down the hall from my office. I have to be sure not to have anything bad on hand.

Working at home, I keep the TV on the Travel Channel or HGTV. I see a lot of weight loss commercials. The common theme is “find the real you.” The real yous of all these folks are size sixes. I started at a size 20/22 and thought that 16 sounded pretty good. I wanted to be a size that I could walk into any store I liked and find something that fit. I wanted to fit into a "Large" so I could pick up cheap deals at Costco. I am now a size 14 ... petite. Ends up the round butt kept normal length pants and skirts higher off the ground. It's funny being considered petite but still being about 30-40 pounds of where I should be on the charts.

So while I am frustrated I’ve not lost the 90 pounds originally planned by the diet center, I have to look at the fact that I have lost 50 pounds. My blood pressure and blood sugar are back to a healthy normal. I can run around, even at 14,000 feet, and be able to breath, without my heart beating out of my chest. I can find things that fit on the clearance rack at Target and on the tables at Costco, as well as all my favorite stores.

I still have some wobbly bits. I started Jazzercise classes again (after a six year hiatus following my traumatic divorce). I would like to smooth out some of those bits (like my “belly butt” that appears with lower waist pants) but have decided that curves are pretty cool. I didn't lose the boobs, although now they’re a little lower without my belly holding them up.

I will continue the program as planned. At the same time, I will try to lighten up on myself. It's not a failure since I've accomplished all the goals but the actual number on the scale. And that’s a pretty cool thing.

Bridge over troubled water

Found this while randomly surfing blogs:

http://www.thisdayinmusic.com/member/birthdayno1.php

The number one song when I was born was Simon & Garfunkel's "Bridge Over Troubled Water." (Okay ... water ... I am a pisces. Does this has some deeper meaning??)

When I turned 18, it was Rick Astley "Never Gonna Give You Up."

Somehow I always thought my life's theme song would be the theme from Fame.

The groundhog and the power of two

Man, that groundhog wasn’t kidding. Every February 2, when the little rodent sees his shadow, I think Duh! There are six more weeks of winter no matter how you look at it. Spring starts on March 20, 2006, at precisely 1:26 P.M. EST. That’s six weeks from February 2.

In my neck of the woods, this time of year is when the snow really starts to fall. The mountains have been walloped this year with tons of snow but down here in the front range, not so much. Our winter has been mostly wind. Lots and lots of wind. And some more wind. Did I mention the wind?

Saturday we had snow and some record low cold. It's -2 as I get ready for my 10:30 Jazzercise class. On goes my athletic socks, yoga pants and tank top. Then a warm up shirt that has long sleeves with thumb holes in the end. I top that off with a pair of sweat pants and wool socks. I add a fleece jacket. When it gets this cold, you start wearing two of everything: two gloves, two coats, two pants ... two nostrils frozen together.

When I am all bundled up to go, I feel like the “Christmas Story” kid. I also know why Minnesotans say “Uff Da.” It’s the sound you inadvertently make when you try to move around in this cold weather body armor.

Later as I am bundled into my cozy little house, I watch the cats lick the ice on the insides of the windows. I wonder if their tongues will get stuck to the metal. It’s “two” dang cold. Yet I know in a couple of months, it will be too dang hot.

Fun with Kennel Cough, plastic splinters, and large quantities of dish soap

I should just give up. I will never have a normal, easy life. Whenever I take some time off, something happens (usually some kind of damage to my house while I am away). We took a quiet weekend away for the two of us. Sarah-dog and Flounder went to Camp Bow Wow. When I made the reservations a couple of weeks ago, they told me their Bordatella vaccine was due and that we should probably get it beforehand since they had some kennel cough going around.

So the pups headed to vet two weeks ago for their shot.

Well, it ends up getting a Bordatella shot is a little like a flu shot. It’s going to protect the pups but not 100%. Apparently this is a more aggressive strain at CBW. Both girls are coughing and snorting. Sarah-dog thinks she needs to go outside every time she coughs and then seconds later scratches to come back in. It's made for a not-so-productive work day.

So to vet we go. I’ve now got some $60 worth of antibiotics (which are the plain old nasty tasting capsule not a nice, easy to administer beef flavored pill) and another $80 for the vet to see the pups and tell me they likely have kennel cough. I talked them out of the $140 worth of “cough suppressant” instead picking up a $7 bottle of Robitussin DM (which is okay for the pups). (I like the vet that we see but I’m beginning to think it’s awfully pricey.) Except I forgot to get a syringe (like for babies). The pups aren’t going to drink the Robitussin out of the little cup. I picked up a baby medicine syringe. What expressions on their puppy faces when I shoot a teaspoon of Robitussin down their throats. Getting the antibiotic pills into Sarah is pretty easy – she’s pretty docile. Flounder, who normally will eat anything that flies in the air, is clamping her mouth shut and tried to bite my head off. Not a happy camper. I tried rolling the pill in bread.–First one went in. Then as I gave her the second, the first one flew back out of her mouth. %#&^#%!! The blasted pills are so big, they're hard to hide inside something.

The good news is that now they’ve gotten this, they should be more immune to it in the future.

But a warning to those of you out there that board or take your dogs to the dog park or doggie daycare, the shot doesn’t make them immune right away (and doesn’t make them 100% immune). And when the doggie daycare tells you that they're having some kennel cough problems, heed that as a warning and you should probably make other arrangements. At least be sure they are updated on their vaccine – apparently the nasal version kicks in quicker than the shot (which I didn’t know before). The shot can take a couple of weeks. The nasal mist – a couple of days.

So my big babies will now have to endure some quiet time to get over their doggie colds. And I get to play traffic cop everytime they go outside to keep them from kissing their boyfriends Drake and Moby.

Not sure my week could go much worse but the day also included fun with a dozen plastic splinters in my hand (from a plastic rope holding my hanging chair), and fun with a Costco-sized bottle of dishsoap that has a mysterious leak and left about an inch deep sludge of soap in my cabinet. It’s soap, so should be easy to rinse off, Right? Well, not in large quantities. There were so many bubbles that later when I went to bed, there were bubbles coming out of the downstairs toilet. Yeah, shades of Amityville Horror —but am thinking it’s more of the minor day-to-day terror of everyday life.

The art of doing nothing

The hubbie and I took off early on Friday for the mountains. My grandma owns a cabin in Estes Park, near the south entrance to Rocky Mountain National Park. It's an 800 sq.foot two bedroom, 1.5 bath cozy hideaway with a wrap around porch and spectacular views.

My grandparents bought the place in 1993. It was a summer cabin built around the 1920s. My grandpa, a talented woodworker, and many members of the family stripped the inside and rebuilt it to be a year-round place. There's a lot of hard work there. It’s more special because it was my grandpa's last major project before he died of cancer in 1995.

This was our second annual Valentine’s Day weekend at the cabin. We brought books, movies (and a newer VCR and DVD player to upgrade what was there) and Suduku puzzles. We spent almost the entire Saturday in PJs, taking a late day bath (in the clawfoot tub) to go out to dinner at the nearby Dunraven Inn.

The cabin is a place we’d love to bring our children – even grandchildren. It’s a peaceful place that I would love to go to every weekend. Why we haven’t gone more often ... well, we can’t bring the dogs since other folks are allergic, and while Camp Bow Wow isn’t over the top expensive, it still is an extra cost to send them to doggie camp for the weekend.

Then there is the everyday beat of a fast-paced life. Weekends around here aren’t really days off. I vowed for new year’s resolutions that I would not work weekends. Surprisingly that has stuck so far (much to the dismay of my project managers). Well, at least the not working on freelance work on the weekends. Instead, I've been doing many projects, visited my sister in Albuquerque (and helped paint her kitchen), and have been helping my grandma go through years and years of stuff as she moves from her 4000 sq foot home to a two-bedroom condo (a really cool condo but considerably smaller than the big old house).

The cabin is a place that we can catch our breath. There’s a telescope to check out local wildlife (really animals, not the neighbors) or the night’s sky. You can sit inside the big picture windows when it’s cold and just stare at the beautiful mountains in front of you. When it is warmer, you can sit outside on the wraparound porch. You can sleep for 11 hours or be up at the crack of dawn, sipping fresh brewed coffee and watching a flock of crows. You can smell the clean, crisp mountain air.

The art of doing nothing.

Now it is Monday and I am home and relaxed but only for a moment. Ends up our mountain haven, the special place my grandpa put so much work into, is going to be put up for sale in April. My grandma says she's too old (she's not) and no one else seems to find the time to go there. It's a beautiful place and too expensive for her to keep up.

The breath I caught over the weekend has been whisked away. The art of doing nothing has become the need to do something. I am angry at my family for letting this happen. I’m not angry at my grandma but angry at my parents, my aunts for not seeing this place for what it is. In the past couple of years, I couldn’t get up there because there were always folks there. I can understand and I don’t think she should be expected to cover the place herself. That's where the rest of us should be helping.

So now I am torn. There’s no way we can afford her asking price. I am considering seeing if she'll let us take over the maintenance and perhaps buy the place from her over the long term. We could conceivably go up there several times a month. She doesn't need the money - that is, she isn't desperate for it as her house will sell soon.

She won’t put it up for sale until April. Maybe that will give us time to come up with an offer or perhaps win the lottery.

Is it practical? I am a terribly sentimental person. Can it be done? Maybe.

Maybe I just need to accept it and go on. But I don’t think I can do that. But do I have a choice?

Doggie TV

[Note: it's a double bonus blog day. I am cleaning out my old laptop so I can return it to Dell and thought I would just finish this one and post it already.]

It’s a wonder I ever get any work done. It’s so amusing watching the pups play. Now that the fence is down on two sides of the yard, I have two additional players in the doggie theater.

Drake, the Rottie behind me, loves to play basketball with himself. He throws the ball in the air, passing it to himself, catches it and then noses it along the ground to the other end of the yard. Then he throws it in the air again and starts over. He’s a one-dog basketball game and he’s having a blast.

Moby, the yellow Lab next door likes to climb the hill in his yard and rest in the tall grass. I think he pretends he is a lion watching for prey. He often comes over and plays with the girls. He and Flounder will be on either end of a rope toy. They start out pulling in opposite directions but soon he will start butting up against her. Sarah-dog runs circles around them barking play-by-play reports.

In fact Sarah-dog doesn’t really play with anyone but her invisible friends. We like to call her rain dog. She runs very precise, identical circles, barking to herself in the same place. Sometimes she chases invisible squirrels.

Moby will egg her on to play and eventually she will but most of it involves trying to bite him in the nether regions. But he has a short term memory problem and will keep chasing after her to get her to play again.

I’m going to move my office into the bigger room soon. This will allow me even more long moments sipping coffee or tea and watching my doggie TV.
Work ... what work?

The stupids

Do you ever feel just socially off in public? Like the moment you leave the person you just encountered, he or she is thinking “what a doofus”? Too often that’s been my kind of day. Maybe it is because I need to get out more often? Maybe I need more human interaction in my day?

I started the day at the CPA’s. I couldn’t come up with simple words - like “W2.” My mouth opened and out came random words only starting with the first letter of the words I really intended. He must have thought I had brain damage.

After that I went to the bank. I think I tried to make a joke about the check and it went over like a barrel full of lead at Niagra Falls. Better not quit my day job.

The cashier at Safeway had a bell and a note sitting on the ledge that said “ring for service.” Dopey me. “Do I have to ring it if you are already here?” hee hee? Maybe she just didn’t have a sense of humor or just thought I was really dense. No, she said seriously, taking it away from me.

A friend who recently had a baby claimed pregnancy brain. I can’t claim that right now. Perhaps I just have “Brain Full” brain. I need a hard drive backup and archive. They say stress is the biggest cause of the stupids. I’ve got plenty of that. But perhaps it’s just my good ol’ ADD.

Hey look ... a chicken.

Where the hell did February come from?

Whoosh. January flew by. Of course it helped that I was out of town for the first part and the last part. Puxatawney Phil has seen his shadow and now for six more weeks of winter. For my neck of the woods, the snow part really only gets started this time of year. I am already seeing bulbs pop up in the gardens.

So a review on the “resolutions” thus far:

1. Travel more. -- a relaxing trip to Hawaii the beginning of year and a weekend in Albuquerque at the end of January. Check!

2. Related to that - get a passport already! - it’s in the mail, so in a month or so, it will be here. Check!

3. Go outside my comfort zone (got a hike along a cliff side 1,000 feet up scheduled in a week - there will be some sweaty palms but a gorgeous view and a 500 foot waterfall). The waterfall hike was fantastic and only really steep in some places and it was great. Plus I flew on a smaller commuter plan without hyperventilating in the small space. Check!

4. Lose some weight. Okay that one may be almost a cheat ‘cause I am already doing that but I’ll keep it up. Still losing (and grumbling). There’s many a blog entry here. Check!

5. Do the Bolder Boulder (which I’ve done before -- race walking but should go again now that I am actually in shape for it). Hmmm. Still thinking on this one. I ran through the airport last Friday because I was late and everything was backed up, except my plane leaving.

6. Play more fetch and take more walks with my babies. If the blasted weather (wind) would cooperate, this one will work a little better.

7. Try to be more patient and understanding of my husband who is on a completely different planet (yeah, him -- Mars, me -- Venus, I know, I know...). Packing six pairs of shorts for a week’s vacation may make sense on Mars (three are khaki green and three are khaki tan). Weird that he’s actually the one that overpacks ... I think this is part of the fun of marriage. He has many charming and positive things about him and I really enjoy his companionship. So this is a check!

8. Edit, edit, edit. Ebay, charity, craigslist ... boxes to the MIL ... I need breathing room. Hee hee. A funny thing happened on the way to less stuff... Grandma is moving after almost 20 years in her 4,000 sq. ft. house to a two bedroom condo. I can’t throw anything out. So while some of it is just temporarily resting at my house before it moves on, I do seem to be moving in the opposite direction. Still working on this one.

9. More projects around the house. We may be here awhile so might as well keep it from falling down! And get rid of the remaining white walls. Got more excited about this one after visiting my sister in Albuquerque and painting her kitchen. Plus decided to change my office to a bigger, airier room. Lots of plans in my head and as soon as I am actually home on a weekend, then the projects will begin.

10. Add another human to my family. We’ll see.

11. Have more days off - at least one *whole* weekend a month. Funny, so far my “off” weekends have been not working at work stuff but doing a lot of packing at Gram’s and painting at Sara’s house, as well as a bunch of other fun social events. But not much actual down time. Still it’s better to get away from this ol’ computer.

12. Learn to better schedule my time (as much as I can with crazy clients and crazy project managers). Still working on this one. So far, it seems I am just scheduling more time into less...

13. Change my hairstyle (since my sisters accused me of having the same on from third grade -- they apparently forgot the long bangs, shaved head, purple hair, blue tail eras of my locks.) This is kind of a cheat - I had my hair cut two days ago and it is definitely different. Check!

14. Organize. Everything. See #9.

15. Write more often. There are children’s books in my head involving my pets’ escapades and my sister Annie’s big box of colored pencils. There are article ideas. There’s this blog. There’s a lot to say. Working on it...

And now on to February...

Kona Hawaii 2006

Ah, Hawaii. After the crazy holidays and before our crazy new semester/quarters and major upcoming projects, we took a quick Winter break to the Big Island of Hawaii.

We arrived in Kona mid-afternoon, picked up our car and headed down Ali’i drive to the Outrigger Keauhou. It’s a nice little hotel, right on Kahalu’u Beach Park. The lobby is fantastic, has a great bar right on the water overlooking tide pools full of turtles. One of the best places to catch a sunset with a Mai Tai. The rooms are a little dated but are being updated. The place was built in 1970 but more recently bought by Outrigger. The walls also are a little thin. We were between a family with small children and an older lady hard of hearing with a loud TV. Luckily we didn’t hear them too much. I would stay there again but probably in a more “off time” (the Fall) and would request an upper level end unit. We had gotten a free “upgrade” for a partial ocean view - which looked out over the Kahalu’u Beach Park and the ocean. That was worth it.

Our first full day, we gathered up the beach gear and headed next door to the Kahalu’u Beach Park, only to find it blocked off. Apparently over New Year’s weekend, there was really high surf that pounded the area and had broken a pipe and some sidewalks. We went up to the north end of the beach and found a place to watch the surfers. The surf was still rough for very good snorkeling but we did take a dip. Mostly watched the sea and did nothing.

In the afternoon, we headed to Buns in the Sun, the best deli in town for lunch. We boarded a van with Blake from Mauna Kea Summit Adventures to head up to the top of Mauna Kea for a sunset and some stars. Mauna Kea (“white mountain” in Hawaiian, due to the frequent snow on top) technically is the tallest mountain on planet earth. It rises all the way from the sea floor. From the island at sea level, it rises 13,792 feet. It is the second of five volcanos that make up the big island. It is dormant, last erupting about 3,500 years ago. Mauna Loa (“long mountain”) is the world’s largest mountain. It was very cold and very, very windy at the top of Mauna Kea but beautiful. We got to see a really cool shadow of the mountain on the clouds to the east. I've never seen something like that before.

We went to the visitor’s center at about 9,000 feet for a box dinner (Teriyaki Chicken that was pretty good), then ascended up the road to the summit. We wandered amongst the many observatories bundled in arctic parkas against the frigid wind and watched a fantastic sunset that included a really cool shadow of the mountain on the clouds over the east side of the island and ocean. Then we retreated to the warmer, less windy 9,000 feet for an astronomy show and some hot chocolate. We had some really great telescopes and our guides pointed out star constellations, planets, nebulas, galaxies and a wandering old Russian rocket booster (space junk). At Hawaii’s latitude, you can see both the north star and the southern cross, however the cross wasn’t up yet when we were there (was due up at 4 am). But pretty cool, none the less.

The next day after an extra cup of Kona joe, we headed up north of Kona to the Kohala coast beaches. The first one we went to, 'Anaeho'omalu Bay, is supposed to be gorgeous. However due to the same high surf from a few days before, crews had created sand berms to protect the property (Outrigger Waikaloa), which made it tough to hang out and watch the water, much less get in it. So we hopped back in the car and headed up to Kauna'oa Beach near the Mauna Kea resort. This was a fantastic beach - one of the best ever (listed as so by Conde Nast magazine). We found a secluded shaded corner and spent most of the day there lounging about, reading and swimming in the water.

This is the prime time of year for humpback whale sightings, although there are all kinds of whales near Hawaii year round. The Humpbacks winter in Hawaii, give birth and raise the youngins. Then they head back north to Alaska for the summer around March/April. We took a whale watch boat with a primo guide, Captain Dan McSweeney, who has a permit to get up close. We found several. I took horrible picture because I was so excited to see them, kept forgetting to click the shutter. (Plus I was kind of in stupid mode due to the Dramamine I took "in case." Duuude, it's a whale....). It was really cool seeing them so close. Dan knows a lot of information, as a whale researcher for more than 25 years.

Our Kahalu’u beach park opened back up so we spent some time snorkeling there. I brought out my camera in the underwater case and got a ton of great pictures. There are many sea turtles, as well as a ton of fish. Close to the shore there’s a fresh water leak which makes it a little murky but that’s also where most people stay. The park is surrounded by an underwater rock wall that helps protect it so you can go out pretty far. Which we did.

A trip to Kona wouldn’t be complete without a coffee drive. It’s a bit like visiting wineries in Napa Valley. You drive along, taste samples, tour the farm and buy up lots of pure Kona Joe. We planned for this by only packing half our suitcases, plus adding an extra duffle bag. We filled up all the extra crevices with coffee, coffee, coffee. Yum. The views from the coffee road is gorgeous. I could live up there (although it is on the third volcano on the island and one that is still mildly active, Hualalai).

I ventured out of my comfort zone for a valley hike in Pololu Valley (with Hawaii Forest & Trail). It really was worth it. It’s up high on the valley wall so is advertised not for those “extremely fearful” of heights. But the trail was wide in most places and the vegetation was thick so we weren’t looking straight down the whole time (just in a couple of places). The highlight was the 500 foot Kapaloa Falls that you get to walk behind. The trail is from building the Kohala Ditch system (which has an interesting adventure for a future trip). The ditch was built to gather water from this very wet side of the island and flow it to the drier side around the corner for sugar processing. The sugar companies are long gone and the ditch really isn’t used. But the trail is a great, easy hike with gorgeous scenery. Our guide, Denny was a lot of fun and had some great info on the way to the spot, which includes about 15 minutes four-wheel driving. (My teeth are still rattling.)

We visited two National Parks while we were there - Pu`uhonua o Honaunau and Kaloko-Honokohau. Pu`uhonua o Honaunau is the place of refuge where early Hawaiians who had broken rules could go and do certain things to be pardoned of their crimes. Part of this area was still roped off from the high surf. We were there at the end of the day and the light coming through the palm trees was really cool. Kaloko-Honokohau is a new one that we didn’t explore very much but got some information on. It’s earmarked for future trips too.

We spent several sunsets at Huggos on the Rocks, our favorite Mai Tai spot for sunsets. We also had beer and lunch at another favorite, the Kona Brewing Company. We also ate at Bubba Gump’s one night, which is a tourist madhouse and very fried! It’s fun but definitely not an award winning culinary experience. We had a wonderful dinner after our Valley hike at Merriman’s Market Cafe in Waikoloa (King’s Shops) where a very talented guitarist singer covered a wide variety of songs (and made Mark long to start a band again).

We had lunch at an excellent place on our last day, Daniel Thiebaut’s in Waimea. We missed it the last time through that area, coming through after lunch hours and before dinner. This time we just made the cutoff before lunch closed. It was fantastic! I had a tuna salad that was beyond anything I can describe, and we split a piece of kona coffee cheesecake.

Our last day we spent time driving around the north part visiting the Kohala bookstore and some of the galleries in Hawi and Kapa’au. On the way back to the airport, we stopped along the highway to watch the sunset. It was very quiet and one of the best sunsets of the week.

This trip, we did not visit Kilauea, the active volcano on the island. It’s a long drive from Kona and we wanted mostly to rest and relax. We’ve visited there before and will add it again on future trips (with a night or two stay in Volcano Village).

The best books for traveling to Hawaii are the “revealed” series. They are well written, have great maps and a lot of tips on things. I have copies for Maui, the Big Island, and for Kauai, which we haven’t visited yet but hope to soon - maybe in the Fall this year. There’s one more for Oahu that I haven’t gotten yet.

Many people ask me how we manage to go to Hawaii so often. We spend less on other things and also find a lot of deals. This time we booked an airfare, hotel and car package on United Vacations. It also included breakfast every day and a little package of goodies (t-shirts, tote bag, coupons and a CD of island music. I’ve signed up for email on sales and specials from many travel sites - Hawaii.com, Cheap Tickets, Expedia, various airlines, Site 59 and more.