The new film, Snakes on a Plane (a good example of “name it exactly what it is”) shows what happens when a cargo of live snakes breaks loose and they slither havoc all over the plane. Seems pretty far-fetched but given recent events since 2001, you have to wonder. Maybe snakes wouldn’t be so bad.
First it was the frightful “Eyelash Curlers on a Plane,” immediately following September 11th. Okay. There was a long list of items you could no longer bring aboard, but eyelash curlers really stuck out to me. Granted I’ve pinched an eyelid or two with those torture contraptions but trying to attack someone else -- how do you get them to stand still long enough?
Now it’s the ultimate terror, “Chapstick on a Plane.” Okay. Again, I do understand why and I understand the immediate response. But all I can think about is a flight without my chapstick and my water bottle. I have a touch of Monk (and a sensitive tummy). I can’t do the shared water bottle thing -- especially if the rumors are true that some airlines just refill that bottle from the airplane tap. My tummy is grumbling and my lips are chapping just thinking about this. Dude, I need my chapstick.
It will always be something. I think that terrorists’ ultimate goal is to slowly drive us insane. Maybe kill us with chapped lips. Only then can we be converted from our evil ways.
3 comments:
What are ya kidding? Chapstick has petroleum AND glycerin in it! 'dem's dangerous stuff maynard! *snicker*
And forcing us to live without chapstick would be supreme torture -- especially to a lip balm-aholic like me. The more you think about not having it, the more you lick your lips, the dryer they get, and the more you think about it.
Yep -- they'd win for certain with that ploy.
A friend has just told me that there's going to be a sequel, "Snakes on Trains." Maybe now the trains will start having homeland security money thrown at 'em! *lol*
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