In memory of Laura Alexander

Ruth Stewart died Friday May 18th after battling bipolar disorder. I got the benefit of knowing her for about 10 years. She was the only member of my ex's family I would have loved to keep.

Laura Alexander was her alias. As her disease waxed and waned, she had many grand ideas of writing books and traveling under this name.

As Ruth Stewart, she was a mother, a grandmother, a great-grandmother and a good friend. She was a firey liberal - one of the few 70-somethings I knew with a "legalize pot" sticker on her car. She was a caring and giving person, often to the point of her detriment.

Several years into my relationship, I had received a phone call from her. She was elated. She had an epiphany. She was the seventh child of the seventh child. She went on like this for awhile. I knew her to be well-educated and funny. I kept waiting for the punchline. It never came. After I had hung up with her, I called my now-ex at work and told him about the conversation. Oh no, he said. She's off her medication. That was the first I knew she had this disorder.

After my horrid split from her grandson, I began to lose track of Ruth. The breakup was really hard on me and I had to distance myself from everything related to him. I had sent a birthday card to her every year (Sept. 1). One year, it came back. Through one of her manic phases, Ruth had fallen prey to a refinance scheme that ultimately took her condo in a foreclosure. She decided to travel after that -- but essentially became homeless. I re-sent the card to a local shelter where she was staying but after a couple of months it too came back.

After time passed, I often wondered about what became of her. Unfortunately the disease changed her to someone other than the person she used to be. This happens too often to those affected by the disease.

The email from my ex came this last Monday on a bleak day I was already suffering my own loss. I felt terrible I had lost track of her but I know the Ruth I knew was gone a long time ago. There was no obituary and apparently no service. I understand the family was tired from dealing with the disease (as I now deal with those close to me with this disease) but she was still a great person and deserves a memorial.

Rest in peace, Ruth.